The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Strap-On Sex by Violet Blue

The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Strap-On Sex by Violet Blue

Author:Violet Blue [Blue, Violet]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781573442787
Amazon: 157344278X
Publisher: Cleis Press
Published: 2007-06-21T00:00:00+00:00


Three Lovers and a Dildo

Once you’ve broken the ice with strap-on play, you may want to multiply your pleasure by inviting a third into your play; or, perhaps a third playmate is the ingredient for making the introduction of strap-on sex a little easier. She might find her first-time harness-wielding experience more palatable if she’s trying it out with another woman (while he watches), or it could be that she’d feel comfortable under the tutelage of another woman more experienced—with him getting pegged while she watches or helps the extra (experienced) female partner. Another scenario might involve a couple with a second male who enjoys getting pegged, and serves as example and playmate for a novice couple. Any of these ideas might make the experience more comfortable, and indeed quite hot. Because, of course, your pegging fantasies might revolve exclusively around a delicious strap on threesome.

But how does one engineer more than two bodies coming together? A couple that adds an additional sex partner becomes a threesome, a combination that can express itself in a variety of ways, usually with two women and one man, or two men and one woman. It’s essential that you think everything through and discuss your fears with your lover before you try a threesome. Think about exactly what it is you want to do in your fantasy scenario and what you don’t want to do, and explore the possibilities of what could happen to upset you. Talk to your lover about all of it, and find out his or her concerns and perspectives as well. Jealousy is the main issue (outside of safe-sex considerations) that couples face when experimenting with threesomes and more, and it’s the first thing you need to think about before trying any trysts. Even couples who have established trust over time and are deeply committed to each other encounter jealousy from time to time, and often unexpectedly.

Many couples make rules for their adventures with others, and set limits that keep both partners comfortable with the shared sex play. For instance, a woman might feel okay with a sexual encounter that includes another woman and her boyfriend, but set limits such as “no kissing,” “no penis/vagina penetration,” or “no oral sex.” Others might make rules like “penetration is okay only if you’re kissing me,” “stay focused on me,” “you can only touch him if you follow my instructions,” or “only touch both of us at the same time.” Think about what might upset you, and set your rules accordingly. Imagine your partner kissing another lover, and if it makes you feel bad, take that off the menu. Your comfort levels around images and sex acts will change over time, so don’t feel like your rules are set in stone—they are for your partner, but you can change them if you feel good about it.

The inclusion of a third into your strap-on play can be a simple equation for a stable, grounded couple with clear communication, but it can also be like a minefield filled equally with danger and daisies.



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